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Who is Professor Chaos?

Halloween is upon us, my favorite time of year. Not only do I love the smell of fallen autumn leaves and hot apple cider, but I simply can’t wait to see what my son is going to dream up for his costume.

Both of my kids have birthdays in October, so Halloween has always been a special holiday – like a continuation of their birthday celebrations. As a birthday gift, the kids’ grandmother would always buy them whatever they wanted for a Halloween costume.

It started with an infant pumpkin costume. Born at just over 6 lbs., the costume was a little roomy on my infant daughter, but with my porker son weighing in at just under 10 lbs. at birth, I couldn’t get the costume over his belly. So, he just wore the hat.

From there, my son starting wearing costumes of his favorite television characters: Theo the Lion from “In Between the Lions,” Tigger, and Clifford the Big Red Dog. He then moved on to hero worship – Johnny Damon from the Red Sox in ’05 (his eventual defection to the Yankees was a painful time in our house) to the all-powerful Green Power Ranger.

But my favorite costumes have come in the last few years when my son started getting creative. His first walk on the wild side was with Cheez Whiz. Where he got this idea, I have no clue. I don’t think he’s ever had that delicacy, but he thought it would be a good idea for a costume. The only thing I could come up with was to make a box painted to look like Swiss cheese that he wore on his body and a sparkly blue witch’s hat (which we convinced him was a wizard’s hat). Get it? Cheese Wiz.

The next year, he liked the look of the band members from KISS, so I, with no artistic bone in my body, had to learn how to make a perfect black star around my son’s eye. Imagine his disappointment when a mom in the neighborhood was walking around with her children in the same costume. Seriously? In 2009? Two Ace costumes? Go figure.

One year, in a scramble for an idea, he wore an old skeleton death mask, put on a suit and carried a briefcase and called himself “Wall Street” (during those “Occupy” days).

My favorite costume, in the true theme of Halloween horror, was when Logan wore a Cookie Monster costume, put a patch over one of its eyes, carried a pirate sword that he had sliced through an Elmo head and wore a shirt smattered with red paint with the words “Nightmare on Sesame Street” sprawled across the front of it. I’m sure it may have terrified the little tykes and their moms, but it was a classic.

Apparently, he’s getting a little older now, and maybe a little lazier, and doesn’t have a lot of “time” to put into a costume. Though, he is no less creative. Last week, just a couple of hours before a Halloween party, he wrapped himself up in tinfoil and informed me he was “Professor Chaos,” Butter’s alter ego from South Park. I didn’t get it. And, I don’t think he’s supposed to be watching South Park. Oh brother.


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